is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
