You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
