Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
