break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
