Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize