Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
