You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize