tequila makes me forget i have legs
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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