How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
