this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
