i just made my gag reflex go away.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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