you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
