Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
