My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize