I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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