i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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