party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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