I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize