Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
