Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
