Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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