I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize