I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
