those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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