Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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