The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
