I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
