I'm really into asian looking animals
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
