We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
