So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
