After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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