need another drink. this is the easiest way
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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