so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Pants are for mortals
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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