Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm really busy with my period
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