Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
