You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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