and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
