I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
