how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
