Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
