so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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