and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
