I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize