i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
