I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
