some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
