My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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