i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
