what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
