I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
