you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
