my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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