just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
