and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Acid is not a monday night drug
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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