yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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