I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
