4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
