Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
