So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
