Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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