going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
