this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize