i just google imaged poop.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
