i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
