Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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