Someone shit on the floor
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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