whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
