so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
