I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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