absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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