I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
