Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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