I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
