Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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