so that wasnt chicken after all
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
