We're facebook friends in real life
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
