I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
