Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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