I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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