But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
