I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
