Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
