He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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