how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
