Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
