sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
