we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
