Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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