i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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